Shroomy Thistlewick's Arc

Chapter 1 of 1

Shroomy Thistlewick scratched his beard and muttered under his breath. He was testing words again, trying to find the perfect combination. "Windbag in fancy shoes," he said, then shook his head. Not quite right. For years, he'd been collecting insults for every kind of boss, leader, and rule-maker he could think of. His goal was simple: create the perfect insult for every type of authority figure. He wanted words that would sting just right without getting him thrown in a dungeon. The forest path opened into a clearing with a curved wooden bench. Shroomy spotted the gnome hat carved into the backrest and grinned. This was it—the perfect place to test his work on real people. He'd need an audience to know if his insults actually landed. A bench meant travelers, and travelers meant listeners. He sat down and pulled out his notebook, flipping through pages of crossed-out phrases and scribbled notes. A small fountain nearby caught his eye. Water poured from a gnome statue holding a jug. Papers were pinned to a board beside it—official notices with fancy signatures at the bottom. Shroomy walked over and squinted at the rules. "By order of the Woodland Overseer," one read. He snorted. Perfect material. Authority figures loved posting their demands where everyone could see them. A merchant's cart rolled into the clearing, pulled by its owner. The wooden shelves displayed green and brown goods under a canvas awning. The merchant barked at a customer about payment and proper handling of the merchandise. Shroomy watched, then scribbled in his notebook. "Self-important peddler with delusions of importance," he whispered. Better. He looked at the bench, then at the fountain with its notices. This clearing would be his testing ground. Here, he'd perfect every insult until each one cut clean and true.