Ashley Cooper's Arc

Chapter 37 of 37

After Saskia left, the hotel went quiet again. But the quiet felt wrong to Ashley. She still ate at Miko's table. She still slept in Miko's bed. Yet 'Becca' had no life outside these walls. No job, no friends, no name that meant anything. She had a woman who loved her worst self and a body buried under the floor. That was all. She sat by the window and watched the town go on without her. Miko found her there and set down tea. Miko still wore her bright fox robe, the fur collar soft at her neck, the long tail brushing the floor. She had killed for money once, and she had killed for Ashley too. She saw everything, but not this. "You don't eat," Miko said. "I ate." "You moved food around the plate." Miko sat across from her. "Tell me what you want." Ashley looked at her hands, one bone, one skin. "I want a real life. Not hiding. Not this." She waved at the floor, the boards, the grave. "You love the girl who burns things down. I don't want to be her anymore. But there's nothing else here for me." Miko was silent. She reached across and touched the bone hand. "Then build something," she said. "I will help." But Ashley knew Miko couldn't build it. No one could. A life needed truth, and her truth was a wanted poster and two dead women. She smiled and told Miko she felt better. It was a lie. That week Ashley stopped eating for real. She told herself she was tired. She skipped breakfast, then lunch. She pushed the plate away at dinner. Miko begged, then cooked her favorite things, then cooked nothing and just sat with her. Ashley grew thin. Her long sleeves hung loose on both arms now, skin and bone the same. "Please," Miko said one night. She held a spoon to Ashley's lips. Her hand shook. "You are all I have. Eat one bite. For me." Ashley turned her head away. "I can't be anyone here," she whispered. "Becca isn't real. Ashley can't come back. There's no one left to love." Miko cried then, the first time Ashley had ever seen it. She stayed by the bed all night. She talked about the future, a new town, new papers, a garden. Ashley listened with her eyes closed and said nothing. She had already decided the only quiet she could reach. One morning Miko brought tea up the stairs. She pushed the door with her tail full of fur and light. She called Becca's name. Ashley lay still on the bed. Her chest did not rise. The tea cup slipped from Miko's hand and broke on the floor above the grave. Ashley Cooper was gone, and the girl who could have been loved for her whole self died with a false name.