JC Coldwell's Arc

Chapter 1 of 9

JC Coldwell wanted to tell Hal the truth, and the wanting made his hands shake. He sat across the potion shop's little table, watching the elf he loved shuffle a deck of cards. JC could hear a whole street of strangers through the warm wooden walls, their thoughts piling up like shouts. He had built walls to block them years ago. The same walls kept everyone out, even Hal. Tonight he meant to lower one. That was the plan. His mouth stayed shut. Hal's mind reached him quietly, the only one that ever did. Most minds screamed. Hal's felt like a hand on the back of his neck. Right now that quiet mind was working too hard, hiding something. JC caught the edge of it and looked away fast. He did not want to steal it. He wanted Hal to hand it over. "You keep doing that," Hal said, dealing two cards face down. He smiled, but his ears twitched. "Looking at me like you're about to jump off a roof." "I want to say something," JC said. "So say it." Hal spread his cards. He was cheerful in the way people are when they are scared. JC knew that tone. He used it himself. A grey kitten leapt onto the table and knocked a card to the floor. Hal laughed and scooped her up. The break gave JC time to run again, and he almost took it. Then he saw the fear behind Hal's eyes, the fear that JC would keep going quiet until there was nothing left between them. JC set his hand flat on the wood. He let the wall down. Not all of it. One brick. "I hear everyone," he said. His voice cracked. "All the time. It's like drowning. I built something to stop it, and now I can't take it down even for you. That terrifies me. Telling you this terrifies me." The kitten went still in Hal's arms. Hal's mouth opened, then closed. His quiet mind flared bright with relief and something heavier underneath. "JC," Hal said softly. "I know it costs you." "I'm trying," JC said. "That's the whole thing. I'm trying." But with the wall lowered, JC heard him clearly for the first time all night. Not words. A picture. A card table in a dark room. A stranger raking coins toward himself. Hal's face, sick and small, watching something get carried away. And a name, sharp and dreading: Daniel. JC pulled his hand back. "What did you lose?" Hal's smile fell off his face. "You weren't supposed to hear that." "I lowered the wall," JC whispered. "You told me to." The kitten jumped down. Hal stared at the cards like they might save him. He had gambled away something last night and gone quiet about it, just as JC had gone quiet for years. Now both walls were down at once, and neither of them could hide.