Kylie Cantrall's Arc

Chapter 27 of 78

Morning came gray over the water. Kylie woke first. She and Arianna had promised to decide each day together, so she waited. When Arianna stirred, she sat up in the wide bed and said, "Your turn. Tell me one thing you want. Just for you." Kylie opened her mouth. Nothing came. She had planned meals for two, gifts for two, a whole week for two. But a thing she wanted alone, for no reason but her own liking? She had never made that list. "I don't know," she said. "I've never done anything just for me." Arianna didn't rush her. She fed the puppy, then poured two glasses of water. "Try again," she said. "Not for me. Not for the label. What sounds good?" Kylie stood and walked to the balcony door. Below them the ship spread out, all bright color and gold trim, decks stacked like a wedding cake. People moved on the lower deck. A boy chased a beach ball. "I always watch other people do things," Kylie said. "I perform. I never just play." "So play," Arianna said. Kylie looked down at the pool, blue and empty in the early light. She remembered what she'd said the night before, half joking. Swim before anyone else woke up. She turned around. "The pool," she said. "Right now. Before the crowd. I want to get in that water and float and not think about a single note." Arianna smiled. "That's yours?" "That's mine." Kylie's chest felt strange, light and scared at once. Naming it out loud made it real. "You don't have to come. That's the point, right? It's just mine." "I'll bring the dog and watch," Arianna said. "He can't swim, but he can supervise." They took the elevator down. The deck was wet and quiet. A steward nodded and left them alone. Kylie kicked off her sandals at the edge. For one second the old habit rose, the urge to schedule it, to make it matter, to turn it into a song later. She let it go. She jumped in. The water closed cold over her head. She came up laughing. She floated on her back and stared at the huge painted hull rising above, all those wild colors, and for the first time in years she wanted nothing from the moment except the moment. Arianna sat at the edge with the puppy in her lap. "How is it?" Arianna called. "It's mine," Kylie said. She had answered the question at last. She knew one thing she wanted for herself. It was small, a pool and cold water and no one watching. But it was hers, and she had named it out loud, and that had never happened before. Now she wondered how many more she could find before the week ran out.