Mei Lin's Arc

Chapter 1 of 1

Queen Mei Lin sat alone on the cold throne of Dealio Kingdom and drew a plan on the arm of her chair with one fingernail. She wanted one thing above all: a traveling hero to bow to, a true master she could serve, love, and give a family without count. But no hero had come. She ruled a rich land and still ate her supper alone. Every scheme to find him stayed trapped behind her painted smile, because she had no one to say it to out loud. She had tried. She had whispered her hopes to her maids, and they only bowed and backed away. A queen could not chase a wandering hero herself. She needed someone loyal, someone who traveled where she could not, someone who owed her nothing but affection. Her plans rotted in her head like fruit left in a bowl. The great doors groaned open on their own. A shape rolled in that stood taller than two guards. It was a walking bottle of clear blue gel, with a round blue cap for a head and small white shoes squeaking on the stone. A painted smile stretched across its front. It stopped before her throne and lifted one stubby arm in a wave. "You look stuck, Your Majesty," it said. Its voice was smooth and easy. "I slide into places nobody else can. Doors, borders, tight spots. Name's Slick Smootherson." Mei Lin gripped her armrests. A servant that could go anywhere. A stranger who owed her nothing, yet stood here grinning. She did not trust the grin. But her scheming had been screaming in silence for a year, and here was a mouth she could pour it into. "You walk the roads," she said. She leaned forward, letting her sweet mask drop. "I am hunting a man. A hero. One worth my crown and my whole heart. Find him, and I will pet you like the finest hound in my kennel." Slick's painted eyes seemed to shine. "Now that's a job I can slip right into." She rose and stepped down to test the creature. She reached out and patted the cool blue cap with two fingers. Slick leaned into her hand at once, shoes tapping in delight. The lonely knot in her chest loosened. Finally, a confidant. Finally, someone to carry her plans past the palace walls. "Then it is done," Mei Lin said. "You serve me now." Slick bowed low, gel sloshing. "I already know three roads a wandering hero might take. But Majesty, one of them runs straight through the lair of a creature they call the Giant Condom Man. He guards that pass, and he lets no one slip by, not even me." Mei Lin smiled her real smile for the first time in months. Her scheming had a voice now, and a pair of feet. It also had a monster standing in its way.