2 Chapters
Kira Voss's dream is being accepted as the trans woman she is by her parents and finding true love with any gender since she’s pansexual and non-monogamous.
Kira Voss had rehearsed the words for three weeks, and tonight they died in her throat again. She sat at the kitchen table across from her parents. Her fork scraped the plate. Her hands shook, the same way they shook before class now, the way they'd shaken every morning since she'd started writing "Mom and Dad, I'm your daughter" in the margins of her notebook. She wanted them to know her. She wanted to keep them too. Both wants pulled against each other, and so she said nothing, again. Her mother asked why she kept picking at her food. Her father set down his glass and watched her. The house ticked and settled around them, its old siding groaning in the wind. Kira opened her mouth. A knock at the door cut her off. It was Maya. Her girlfriend of almost a year, standing on the sagging porch in a denim jacket and white sneakers, her curls damp from the walk. They'd kept this secret so long that seeing Maya here, at the front door, made Kira's chest seize. "You left this at the library," Maya said. She held up Kira's planner. Then, quieter, only for Kira: "You've been stuck for three weeks. You said you'd never find the words. So I came to sit with you while you don't find them." Kira's parents came to the door. Her mother looked at Maya, then at Kira's face, and something shifted in her expression. "Who is this?" Kira felt the moment crack open. She could lie. She could say a classmate. The easy path waited right there. Maya's hand found hers and held it where both parents could see. "This is Maya," Kira said. Her voice shook. "She's my girlfriend. And there's something I should have told you a long time ago." She made herself breathe. "I'm a girl. I'm your daughter. I've been your daughter the whole time." The words were out. They could not go back in. Her father's face went still. Her mother pressed a hand to her mouth. Nobody yelled. Nobody hugged her. For a long moment nobody moved at all, and the silence was worse than any shout Kira had braced for. Then her mother spoke, slow and careful. "How long?" "Always," Kira said. Her father turned and walked back into the house without a word. Her mother stayed in the doorway, eyes wet, not reaching out, not stepping away. "I need to think," she said. "Both of you. Come inside. We're not done." Maya squeezed Kira's hand. The secret was gone. What came next would be harder.
Kira sat on the couch inside the row house. Her mother stayed in the kitchen. Her father had not come back downstairs. Maya sat beside her, their hands linked, but Kira could not stop watching the stairs. She needed to know one thing before the night ended. Did she still have a home here, or did she need somewhere else to sleep? The silence stretched for an hour. Then her mother made a phone call in the kitchen. Kira caught only a few words. A name. A request. "Can you come over? Now, if you can." Twenty minutes later, a knock came. Kira opened the door and found the woman who had cut her mother's hair for fifteen years. Stella stepped inside without waiting, scissors and pearl earrings and all, her gray hair swept back. She was the one person her mother trusted with hard things. Her mother never decided anything big without talking to her first. Stella looked at Kira a long moment. Then she smiled, soft and sure. "Well," she said. "Look at you. I always wondered when you'd let yourself out." Kira's throat tightened. "You knew?" "I guessed. Years ago." Stella set her bag down. "Your mother's scared. That's all. Scared isn't the same as gone." Her mother came out of the kitchen. She and Stella went to the far corner and spoke low. Kira couldn't hear the words. She gripped Maya's hand and waited while the two women talked. Stella did most of the talking. Her mother wiped her eyes twice. Finally her mother turned around. She crossed the room and stopped in front of Kira. For a second she just looked at her, like she was seeing her for the first time. "I don't understand all of this," her mother said. "I might get it wrong. A lot." Her voice cracked. "But you're my child. You sleep in your bed tonight. You sleep in it tomorrow. This is your home." Kira stood and her mother pulled her into a hug. It was stiff at first, then not. Kira pressed her face into her mother's shoulder and let herself shake. "Your father needs time," her mother said quietly. "He's not ready. He won't come down tonight." Kira pulled back. "And when he is ready?" Her mother didn't answer. She looked away toward the stairs. Stella picked up her bag. "One at a time, honey," she told Kira. "You got your mother back tonight. That's not nothing." Maya squeezed Kira's hand. Kira had her home. She had her bed, her mother's arms, this one safe night. But her father's door stayed shut above them, and she could hear him moving behind it, pacing, not coming down. Her mother had chosen her. Her father still hadn't. That was the next thing she'd have to face.
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