Annie Oakley's Arc

Chapter 8 of 13

They rode into the mining camp the next morning. Annie ate two eggs and a piece of bread before they left, and the food stayed down. She thought that meant she was ready. The amphitheater sat carved into the hillside, stone steps rising in a wide half circle around a round stage. Men were already setting lanterns along the top rows. The stage looked bigger than any place Annie had stood before. She counted the seats without meaning to and stopped at forty. Lainey walked her out to the center for sound check. Annie sang one line of the opening hymn. Her voice cracked. She tried again and it came out thin. The stone threw it back at her louder than she sang it. "Once more," Lainey said. Annie opened her mouth. Nothing came. Her hands were shaking. Her stomach pulled tight the way it had before the doctor. She pressed a fist against her belt and tried to breathe through her nose. "I ate," Annie said. "I did what he said. It's still happening." "I see that." "They're going to come in and I'm going to stand here and nothing's going to come out." Her eyes filled. "I can't. Lainey, I can't do it." Lainey crouched down so their faces were level. She put one hand on Annie's shoulder. "You don't have to." Annie stared at her. "It's okay to walk away sometimes," Lainey said. "Nobody's making you stand up here. I'll sing for you tonight. I know the hymns. If you feel better partway through, you come up and join me. If you don't, you sit and you drink your water and that's the whole job." "You'd do that." "Already decided." Annie's shoulders dropped. She hadn't known how high they were pulled until they came down. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Lainey's neck. Lainey caught her and held on. "Thank you," Annie said into her collar. "No problem, Baby Bean." Annie pulled back. "Baby Bean?" "That's your name now." Annie laughed. It surprised her. It came out short and wet and real, and the tight thing in her stomach loosened a notch. Lainey walked her to the side of the stage. A long table stood there with the spread the miners had laid out for them, bowls of apples and pears, bread, a pitcher of something cold, small glasses set in a neat row. Lainey pulled out a chair. Annie sat. "Water first," Lainey said. She poured a glass and pressed it into Annie's hand. "I'll be right up there. You watch." Annie nodded. She held the glass with both hands and set it on the table. The men were starting to file in along the top rows, boots loud on the stone. Annie stayed in her chair. For the first time all day, she wasn't the one they were coming to see. She let herself feel that. Then she took a sip of water and waited for Lainey to sing.